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Boy Girl
Descriptive praise
When we teach positive parenting skills that parents often begin with a capability called descriptive praise. Almost all articles on parenting skills include writing tips for parents, and advice for parents, which include claims such as "Focus on the positive. "How is it actually?
Modern parents are often wired "to focus on the negative. "When our children are calm session reading / quiet parents often have the opportunity to leave children while they continue with other tasks at home, or to put it bluntly, ignorant children. Once children start conflicts or fighting whining but parents often come running. What actions to our children? We learned inadvertently that for mommy / daddy the best care thing to do is fight against the / cry / Fight or simply "misbehave" By giving our attention to this problem, we're creating more of the same As the child gets what he wants our attention and the cycle began.
How to break this cycle? Easy - warning and tell children what they are doing their right all the time instead of saying how you're wrong or just watch them when they are "bad behavior". It seems clear and, indeed, in principle, it is - but we're so used to achieve the shots are real and tangible to us as parents to focus from negative to positive. A skill that is invaluable in achieving it is descriptive praise.
Descriptive praise is praise - but not the kind of praise that sounded like 'good boy / girl "" well done "," wonderful "," wonderful "," super ", etc.. This type of praise we call the evaluative praise There is not nothing wrong in principle. The problem with praise assessment is that it is particularly effective and does not provide the child with enough information about what they have done to deserve the praise, so they can repeat in the future.
Descriptive praise is praise through the descriptions of what he sees and how a child can often be related to a property you want (i) to identify a child if you can learn what is property and (ii) that the child learns this feature is desirable and win praise. For example, a child is sitting quietly and drawing. Instead of ignoring the "good conduct" Parents may say, "Thank being so quietly at the table is really fun that can by drawing and is really helpful for the mother because I can wash dishes.
Description The praise is effective because (i) is true - but praise what is really happening, (ii) requires the parent to realize that the child - you can have a "good boy "on his shoulder, but use descriptive praise to fulfill her son and (iii) has been giving the child information useful. In the example above the child had been "useful", and they learn what it means to be both useful and also help is something that appreciates mummy So your child wants to be useful again, and when the father uses his skills of some parents who notice, so descriptive praise and therefore more useful - the vicious circle is replaced by a virtuous circle!
Descriptive praise takes practice. Many parents face a bad child behavior can be so overwhelmed by the bad behavior they do not know how to begin to praise, and it takes time and training, that the way to spread the blame is to identify what happens the first right, regardless of their size.
A simple example of this may be with a boy back in school and the rule is that you have to hang up her coat and bag and put his shoes on the shoe rack when I go home. The day in question, the child comes home the bag is discharged into the room - took off his shoes, but her hair hangs, this that .... parents tend to focus on first? In most cases, the first word of mouth about shoes and bags - and everything is negative! "Get your shoes! "" Your bag is not there, "etc. etc. The real capacity of the parents is that the first layer and praise what was good done: - Thank you for hanging their coats - you remember the rules and hang coats mother did not have to do / remember. At this stage, the child may, no more words watch your bag and shoes and sort it out (I also recommend). Please is the parent company could be said about something like "So you've solved the housing, it remains to be done before you have your lunch? "
Praise: Description of responsibilities Parenting is an incredibly powerful skill and practice that every household can do a lot more positive.
For more information about Praise and other descriptive skills of parents to contact their parents practice. The practice of parents is an organization based in south west London, who has been teaching positive parenting skills to parents over the last 10 years. The practice produces guides to encourage parents to form small publications, books and CDs, but against our main work is done to address through parent education.
Boy/Girl
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